The past couple of weeks can be categorized as one of those “get in the groove” periods, where I basically run out of excuses to do anything of any consequence, and chalk up all my inactivity to “getting in the groove.”

“Eric, why haven’t you updated your blog lately?”

Oh, I’ve been busy getting in the groove of things, I’ll get to it soon.

“Eric, why haven’t you bought any plants for your new apartment? Aren’t they the last thing you have to buy?”

Just getting in the groove, I’ll find some time to go buy them this weekend.

“Eric, what is that awful smell emanating from your underarms? When was the last time you took a shower?”

h, just been getting in the groove of settling in and figuring things out and getting a feel for everything. I’ll get to it.

Now I’ve seriously run out of excuses, and my procrastination finally crawled up and bit me in the arse this past week when I realized that all my utility bills were overdue. Unlike with everything else where I can blame Republicans, I had no one to blame for letting the bills fester except for myself. They were delivered on time, and I had them either on my desk or in my bag for the past two months, but whenever it came to me actually learning how to take care of them I just found myself paralyzed with inactivity. After all, this was the first time since San Francisco where I had the responsibility of paying for my own resource usage; I guess I had just gotten used to all the ass-wiping that foreigners usually enjoy when living in China.

In all actuality, the Shanghai utility companies make it extraordinarily easy to pay your bills on time. They deliver the paper versions a month before the deadline, at which point all you have to do is walk to the nearest convenience store and pay all of them there. For the phone bill, you can also buy prepaid credit at endless number of stalls lining the side of the subway stations. For the super-savvy, you can just go to the bank and set up your account to automatically deduct itself and transfer the money straight to the payees.

And of course, if you’ve done none of the above, then you’re pretty much screwed. Which is the position I found myself in, ultimately having to take an afternoon off and visit every utility company separately. That meant taking numbers at the China Mobile, DaZhong Gas, Jing-an Municipal Waterworks, and China Telecom. Not to mention the American consulate to get my new passport, as well as Huashan hospital to confirm that I can’t get my weekly enemas reimbursed by my health-insurance company. With so many millions of people in Shanghai, taking numbers at each of these places was, as Shakespeare would say, a total bitch!

I’d like to think I’ve learned my lesson, that I now know to pay all my bills on time and to avoid getting down and dirty with the other local delinquents. I’d like to think that. I’d also like to think that I’m going to hit the gym and develop that Terrell Owens type physique that I always wanted. I’ll see you at the utility company in two months.