Every now and then a special event unfurls itself across my lap, and I end up at one of the many fine dining establishments dotting Shanghai’s highbrow landscape. Last Friday was one of them, as Lydia closed out her first quarter century, so we ended up at Laris for the first time. Unlike its downstairs rival Jean Georges, our friends spoke of Laris with nary a hint of controversy, highly recommending the place for the quality of food and the service. As we say here in the office, there were definitely some key takeaways from the experience. Some of them below:

  • Only in such a place as Laris does foam smack of being high-end. My previous experiences with foam have been decidedly low-end: Hyun and I killing snails in my backyard with pesticide; a totally skeezy spring-break party with Roger and Tracy and her friends in Rosarito; descriptions of rabid dogs. However, put a glob of foam over an incredibly undersized portion of [insert meat name nere] and you’ve got a $30 delicacy

  • Don’t ever go to the gym and forego a big lunch prior to going to a place like Laris. You’ll be craving McDonald’s as you walk out of the restaurant.

  • Never take your shoes and socks off and start picking at your feet. Apparently, even in China this is not allowed at Laris (though it’s quite welcomed at Motel 168)

  • Don’t pour Sprite into that 400 RMB glass of Bourdeaux. Sprite’s a rip-off at 50 RMB a glass, so don’t do it.

  • If you want the expensive and delectable meal to linger on your palate, do NOT: go to I Love Shanghai and pound a pint of Carlsberg, go to New Heights for a 7th glass of wine, book a last minute table at Volar and split a bottle of Grey Goose with Chace, then stagger over to Guandii and have someone accidentally pee all over you as you’re squatting down puking your $120 tasting menu onto the grass. Yeah, definitely do NOT do that after eating at Laris.