Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says ‘Train for jobs in beeyotch.’
Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?

The above is just a tidbit overheard on the streets of New York, taken from one of the coolest websites around right now. Shanghai, with its swarms of people hurrying to one place or another, is a good parallel to New York City, and while you may hear some pretty crazy things from time to time, the top 10 things (as decided by ME) you will NEVER hear any Shanghainese person say are:

10) “I wonder if they make fake Louis Vuitton bags out here.”
9) “What fresh air!”
8) “I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too
So turn off the lights and close the doors
But (but what) we don’t love them hoes, yeah!
So we gonna smoke a ounce to this
G’s up, hoes down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this”
7) “I love George W. Bush”
6) “Those crazy Taiwanese look just like they’re Chinese!”
5) “Free Tibet!”
4) “The Japanese are our friends.”
3) “Hey, anyone up for Chinese food tonight?”
2) “These DVDs appear to be fake! Let’s go somewhere else!”
1) “Excuse me!”

One thing I was surprised to see, but nonetheless pleased, was this posting by the folk at Zapata’s, where I once was conned into buying a girl a 50 RMB margarita and never saw her again. I hope she can read.