sushipanda

So I finally got off my lazy tentative ass and upgraded my iphone from a TurboSIMed 1.1.2 to the spanking new 2.1 firmware. Appstore, baby! And lo and behold this free Wordpress app, which I am using right now to type this adorable little post. Too bad my thumbs are so big, maybe this won’t help improve my posting frequency after all!

Ok so I was caught with my pants down last night when I was re-watching The Dark Knight instead of frantically trying to sell my shares of Goldman Sachs. So that’s thousands of dollars down the tube in the matter of hours. *Sigh*. It’s sad when the only financial news that makes me smile is the kind below:

“Trying to make light of a bad situation, pretending to console each other.” I need some consoling with a beautiful woman right about now. Make that a beautiful, RICH woman.

OK, so this posting by e-mail has a glitch in it: the text alignment
is all off and therefore it looks crazy and whacked out everytime it
publishes. I’ve been Googling this for the past couple of hours but it
looks like one of those problems that frustrate the hell out of
everyone but has yet to be solved. Oh well, it was fun and promising
while it lasted, sort of like when I had that dream that I was
seducing Britney Spears (the one from 2002, mind you) and she was
actually falling for it. Then I woke up and had some soy milk that my
mom made for me, packed a lunch that my mom made for me, and went down
the elevator pretending that I didn’t just turn 30 years old.

So Goldman announced today and, despite beating Wall Street estimates, it’s trading down about 14%. The hurt is here and it ain’t going away. Losing thousands on a stock I just recently bought, coupled with this annoying cold that makes me want to invent a bib for my nose, makes this one of the less sparking days of recent memory. At least I have you, dear reader, buttressing me and motivating me in ways that only a gun-toting and brutally annoying GILF can do at the present moment.

Blogging this from my phone. I love technology. Eat my shorts, John
McCain.

I grew up in the greater Los Angeles area. I first started following sports with the Los Angeles Raiders. My dad used to sit down and watch Marcus Allen on TV when I was in kindergarten. When I was in first grade I used my allowance money at the book fair to buy a book about Dan Marino and Joe Montana, and thus I became a Niners fan, but I was still always rooting for the Raiders.

Like everyone else I knew, I loved the Lakers as well. I cried when they lost to the Bulls in the Finals, ending their Showtime dynasty. I watched the Magic-HIV press conference in my junior high English class; right after that, our teacher (Dr. Hoffman) made us all write letters to him wishing him the best.

I never watched baseball until I got to junior high because it was so boring. Until one day I was at the dentist’s office and I saw rookie Eric Karros of the Dodgers belt his 19th homer of the year. I was hooked, and became a Dodger fan for life.

But it was sometime in 1989 that I fell in love with a team not from the LA area. That was the Detroit Lions. And it was solely because of Barry Sanders, who did shit on the field that Marcus Allen and even Bo Jackson on the Raiders never did. On top of that, they had also drafted Rodney Peete, USC alum. In 1991 they pulled off this miraculous run behind Erik Kramer (after Peete had gone down with an injury) and made it to the NFC Championship game, where they got crushed by the Redskins. But the giving of my fanship to the Lions was vindicated. I was a winner.

Oops.

Now a days, when people find out that I’m a Lions fan, they ask incredulously: “Why?!” The Lions are losers, but not of the lovable kind. We’re just lame and pathetic and embarrassing. It’s what led us to pay Scott Mitchell a king’s ransom to be a joke (although he did have that ONE good season). It’s what led us to draft Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, and Mike Williams back to back to back. And it’s what led us to this headline that I just caught on ESPN.com: New Lions RB Johnson says Bell stole his luggage.

Yes, these are the kinds of headlines that we make. I can’t wait for this year’s 5-2 start and 0-6 collapse. I simply can’t wait!