Once again, I’ve been MIA on this site as I’ve had a shitload of other things to take care of. Mainly, drinking a lot and shaving. Yes, I’ve been doing a lot of shaving, and not just on my face (that one was for you, ladies!).
Actually, Republic has been busy with three projects at the same time, so we’re doing some major juggling right now, but for my many fans I don’t want to leave you with nothing but measly Twitter updates (even thought hey are the best Twitter updates in the world), so here are a few interesting things I encountered in recent weeks:
- While having lunch with Terry and Charmaine, the topic of gym memberships came up, because Charmaine just signed up for one and I, obviously, did not. She mentioned to Terry that he was putting on some flab, to which he responded: “Non-flabby people are either gay or boring.” I nearly spit out my porridge.
- My friend Vivian twisted my arm and forced me to go to Laris last week for martini night. When she arrived, she gave me a hug, and then proceeded to ignore me the entire night while in the company of four other men. Non-flabby men. So, Vivian, as promised, I am exacting my revenge on you on this blog: Vivian hurt her back last week having rough sex. So there.
- The above paragraph was a joke. The rough sex part, not the dissing me at Laris part.
- On my way to work two weeks ago my assistant called. She sounded frantic. She told me that she couldn’t open our front gate for some reason. Since she has been charged with opening our front gate every since she started working for me in September, this was indeed alarming. I had visions of miscreants trying to pick our lock after I left the night before, so I asked the driver to speed up. When I arrived, she was squatting on her knees with my other employee, trying to force the key into the lock. I asked them to step aside and used my key, which worked perfectly. Yes, my assistant was trying to open the office gate with her house key. For 30 straight minutes. I hope that is not an omen of things to come for my darling company.
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