It’s Good for the Skin

friends, funny, sushipanda No Comments »

A few months ago, my good friend who shall remain nameless (bless her heart) responded to an an online ad looking for female models. Even in this sordid day and age, there actually are people who are innocent about important aspects of our culture. And by “our,” I mean all the porn-loving pervs out there who rule the world:

Email No. 1 (the response to the ad):

Hi —-,

Please find attached photo appropriate.

Email No. 2 (their response):

Thanks for your response.

Can you tell me if you have done facials before? Would you be comfortable taking a facial from a western model?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Email No. 3 (where the hilarity begins):

you mean facial products right?

I have to ask my friend, I submitted her photo on her behalf.

Email No. 4 (where it all cums together):

Thanks for your email – I want to be clear on this. ‘Facial’ in this situation does not refer to the beauty treatment but the act of a man ejaculating on a womans face – please see the pic for an example. I am recruiting models for the adult entertainment industry. If this is something you are not interested in then please accept my apologies for the confusion. If you or any of your friends are interested then we pay excellent hourly rates of between RMB 4000 and 9000.

Hope to hear from you again,

Wow, 4000 RMB? Sign me up! And I have no knowledge of whether this very good friend of mine actually got her facial or not.

Weekly Twitter Updates

sushipanda, twitter No Comments »

Weekly Twitter Updates

sushipanda, twitter No Comments »
  • The elliptical machine and sushipanda don’t get along very well #
  • looking forward to the hairy crab party tonight. Gonna put a few in my pocket before we start eating. #
  • @weelingsoh didn’t you just eat the cold penne? in reply to weelingsoh #
  • 刚梦到我大哥有跟我前女友上床, 而且全家都知道, 只有我傻乎乎的. 奇怪, 我没有真的大哥, 但有真的前女友. 还是很靠北! 现在还在梦这种垃圾! #
  • just spilled coffee all over my desk and my shirt, and my first thought was “thank God I only paid 8 rmb for this.” #
  • Back to Yamatoya tonight, perfect weather for some oden and shochu. #
  • ugh. i eat too much #
  • Why oh why do I not control myself at all you can eat Japanese? Feel like upchucking #
  • Chatting with my brother in DC about the vote count. He wants to win, so he supports Stupak’s amendment. I just want burritos. #

Weekly Twitter Updates

sushipanda, twitter No Comments »
  • Crocodile soup at 潮楼 on eighth floor of Sogo. Not half bad, though half is chicken: http://twitpic.com/oln5n #
  • Just found out from a good source that I was No. 21 on @cnngo’s list of Top 20 in SH to watch. That source is me: http://bit.ly/4c00LB #
  • Go Dodgers! Woo-hoo! Oh wait… #
  • @ling8 I just looked into the pit that is the morass of my romantic life. Your pic is more inspiring than mine. #
  • Just woke up and decided to find a way to make millions today. Here’s the plan: you guys give me millions of dollars, and I accept. Genius. #
  • Went from 12.5 RMB shit wine at Kuluska to the 600 RMB bottles of red at Kee Club in span of 10 minutes. Time to upgrade my Wed nights. #
  • @jennwong good thing your favorite person to follow @sushipanda has such an easy name to remember. in reply to jennwong #
  • @danwashburn I have one of those already, except it’s with a donkey ass on top of his body. I think it’s more apt, you want it? in reply to danwashburn #
  • goodbye pleasant Shanghai weather, I hardly knew ye. You were the love of my life, why did you have to leave me you bitch! #
  • Here’s birthday boy @danwashburn at hid celebratory Closed Door brunch today: http://twitpic.com/nv27x #
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